Chapter 1
What is one example of "small stuff" that you let get to you recently?
An example of small stuff that I sweat would be deadlines. Obviously deadlines are super important but I let them overwhelm me. I have so much on my plate at once and sometimes I feel like the thoughts and due dates look like a giant crossword puzzle. I’m searching for the answers but it’s just a mess. I let the stress keep me from doing what needs to be done. If I took a deep breath and got to work it wouldn’t be so hard. There aren’t a lot of small things I sweat, though. I don’t care what people think or say. Maybe I’m selfish for that, and some probably think I am, but this quarantine has taught me that I need to, and always will, put myself first.
An example of small stuff that I sweat would be deadlines. Obviously deadlines are super important but I let them overwhelm me. I have so much on my plate at once and sometimes I feel like the thoughts and due dates look like a giant crossword puzzle. I’m searching for the answers but it’s just a mess. I let the stress keep me from doing what needs to be done. If I took a deep breath and got to work it wouldn’t be so hard. There aren’t a lot of small things I sweat, though. I don’t care what people think or say. Maybe I’m selfish for that, and some probably think I am, but this quarantine has taught me that I need to, and always will, put myself first.
Chapter 2
How does your "ego" distract you?
My ego distracts me everyday. Honestly, this quarantine has been really hard on me. It’s been an all-time high and an all-time low at the same time. I’ve had to come face to face with my anxiety and depression and its distracted me from the people I love. It’s made me a bad friend, student, daughter, and girlfriend. It’s hard to be present or maintain relationships when you’re barely able to hold onto yourself. I get angry, scared, sad, judgemental, and unfocused. It completely takes over my life and every morning I have to wake up and fight it off all over again. It's an all consuming adaptation that, somedays, takes every ounce of my energy and focus. I can be neglectful and insensitive to my friend's emotions. I distance myself from my family and friends. I lose track of time and motivation. It crashes down on me at night and I have to brush it off the morning. I have to ignore the rubble and mess I’ve created around me. Smile like nothing's wrong, and focus on what’s important to me. Even though I fall… extremely often, my friends are there to help me back up. They let me fall because I’m stubborn and I know I have to figure it out on my own. But they’re always there to hold my hand or brush me off. They’ll help me clean my room when my life is messy and leave me notes on my car after work. They’ll let me take naps in their bed and facetime me after a long shift. They’ll text me good morning and goodnight every morning and night. They’ll let me come over and make burritos when I haven’t eaten. They’ll scream in the car with me and tell me it’s okay when I don't think it'll ever be. They'll wave their hands out the sunroof, stretched out to greet the clouds with the palms of their hands. They'll dance in a random parking lot like no one is watching and run away when the cars drive by. They'll watch the sun go down and wake up to greet it good morning with me the next day. They'll create craters in the sand and bark at the pigeons. They'll sing Bridget Mendler with me and ignore the stares of people going by. They'll scare fast food workers and track down my stalkers. They'll ice cream the wrong car and get the wrong car pulled over. They'll be there for me no matter the time or place.
My ego distracts me everyday. Honestly, this quarantine has been really hard on me. It’s been an all-time high and an all-time low at the same time. I’ve had to come face to face with my anxiety and depression and its distracted me from the people I love. It’s made me a bad friend, student, daughter, and girlfriend. It’s hard to be present or maintain relationships when you’re barely able to hold onto yourself. I get angry, scared, sad, judgemental, and unfocused. It completely takes over my life and every morning I have to wake up and fight it off all over again. It's an all consuming adaptation that, somedays, takes every ounce of my energy and focus. I can be neglectful and insensitive to my friend's emotions. I distance myself from my family and friends. I lose track of time and motivation. It crashes down on me at night and I have to brush it off the morning. I have to ignore the rubble and mess I’ve created around me. Smile like nothing's wrong, and focus on what’s important to me. Even though I fall… extremely often, my friends are there to help me back up. They let me fall because I’m stubborn and I know I have to figure it out on my own. But they’re always there to hold my hand or brush me off. They’ll help me clean my room when my life is messy and leave me notes on my car after work. They’ll let me take naps in their bed and facetime me after a long shift. They’ll text me good morning and goodnight every morning and night. They’ll let me come over and make burritos when I haven’t eaten. They’ll scream in the car with me and tell me it’s okay when I don't think it'll ever be. They'll wave their hands out the sunroof, stretched out to greet the clouds with the palms of their hands. They'll dance in a random parking lot like no one is watching and run away when the cars drive by. They'll watch the sun go down and wake up to greet it good morning with me the next day. They'll create craters in the sand and bark at the pigeons. They'll sing Bridget Mendler with me and ignore the stares of people going by. They'll scare fast food workers and track down my stalkers. They'll ice cream the wrong car and get the wrong car pulled over. They'll be there for me no matter the time or place.
Chapter 3 |
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Thoughts: "When you have what you want (inner peace), you are less distracted by your wants, needs, desires, and concerns. It's thus easier to concentrate, focus, achieve your goals, and to give back to others."
When you have what you want, it’s definitely easier to help others and just be a better person. Happiness is really easy to give and show when you’re happy yourself. Having a positive mindset makes it easier to focus in school and show appreciation for the people around you.
When you have what you want, it’s definitely easier to help others and just be a better person. Happiness is really easy to give and show when you’re happy yourself. Having a positive mindset makes it easier to focus in school and show appreciation for the people around you.
Chapter 4
Do you notice how your body and mind feel when your thinking is out of control?
When my thinking gets out of control my body and mind become exhausted from fighting with my head so much. I run myself in circles with my thinking and drain myself without even noticing. I avoid what’s bothering or distracting me until my body and mind scream at me to stop because I’ve been ignoring their whispers for so long.
When my thinking gets out of control my body and mind become exhausted from fighting with my head so much. I run myself in circles with my thinking and drain myself without even noticing. I avoid what’s bothering or distracting me until my body and mind scream at me to stop because I’ve been ignoring their whispers for so long.
Chapter 5
Can you recall a time when you made something big and dramatic when in reality it was small and that big of a deal?
The other week I was in class and I accidentally took myself off mute and the class heard me. I had like a five minute breakdown over it and Kylee told me to relax. Looking back, it wasn’t a big deal and I totally forgot until she just now reminded me when I read the prompt aloud.
The other week I was in class and I accidentally took myself off mute and the class heard me. I had like a five minute breakdown over it and Kylee told me to relax. Looking back, it wasn’t a big deal and I totally forgot until she just now reminded me when I read the prompt aloud.
Chapter 6
What does your “in basket” look like? And it will be there tomorrow?
My in basket is SLAMMED at the moment. There is always something to do and it gets so overwhelming. I feel like all my thoughts and things to do just bump around in my head. I try to write them down but they’re always in the back of my mind.
My in basket is SLAMMED at the moment. There is always something to do and it gets so overwhelming. I feel like all my thoughts and things to do just bump around in my head. I try to write them down but they’re always in the back of my mind.
Chapter 7
Do you believe you are a strong listener or could you use some work?
I think I’m a good listener. I know I’m not perfect but I know I’m not bad either. I have a super bad habit of getting impatient. I hate listening to rambling or over-explanations. It’s a really bad habit and people need to ramble sometimes. I think I’m a good listener, though, because I keep an open-mind and I genuinely care about what people say. Kylee said I’m the most open-minded Christian she’s ever met. That makes me happy because that’s really important to me. Recently, I got in a super bad fight with a friend and it honestly just made me realise how good my communication skills are. I focus on using “I” statements, I refrain from using “always” and “never,” I keep an open mind, I don’t introduce other problems during the conversation, etc. I explained the fight and my disbelief on how my friend had such horrible communication and listening. He just said, “you’re so logica, he’s probably just scared.” As he should be. I feel like the difficult conversations I’ve had with my parents, therapist, friends, and boyfriends have made me an experienced and well matured I listener.
I think I’m a good listener. I know I’m not perfect but I know I’m not bad either. I have a super bad habit of getting impatient. I hate listening to rambling or over-explanations. It’s a really bad habit and people need to ramble sometimes. I think I’m a good listener, though, because I keep an open-mind and I genuinely care about what people say. Kylee said I’m the most open-minded Christian she’s ever met. That makes me happy because that’s really important to me. Recently, I got in a super bad fight with a friend and it honestly just made me realise how good my communication skills are. I focus on using “I” statements, I refrain from using “always” and “never,” I keep an open mind, I don’t introduce other problems during the conversation, etc. I explained the fight and my disbelief on how my friend had such horrible communication and listening. He just said, “you’re so logica, he’s probably just scared.” As he should be. I feel like the difficult conversations I’ve had with my parents, therapist, friends, and boyfriends have made me an experienced and well matured I listener.
Chapter 8 |
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Recall a time when you have given, did you expect acknowledgement?
I don’t think you should expect acknowledgement for any kind act you do. It kind of defeats the purpose of doing it if you’re just seeking recognition. Also, I think you can do good things for someone and still want to tell people. It isn’t about the recognition. You could be proud, encourage someone else, or just want to share a positive experience or reaction with someone. A time I gave was volunteering for Night to Shine. I do it annually and I recruit a lot of my friends to do it too. It’s a prom for individuals with developmental disabilities. It’s such a good night and I love volunteering.
I don’t think you should expect acknowledgement for any kind act you do. It kind of defeats the purpose of doing it if you’re just seeking recognition. Also, I think you can do good things for someone and still want to tell people. It isn’t about the recognition. You could be proud, encourage someone else, or just want to share a positive experience or reaction with someone. A time I gave was volunteering for Night to Shine. I do it annually and I recruit a lot of my friends to do it too. It’s a prom for individuals with developmental disabilities. It’s such a good night and I love volunteering.
Chapter 18
Do you take the time to be bored?
I take some time to be bored, but not as much as I should. I feel like I’m constantly doing something or busy. It’s not that I don’t enjoy time to myself, I just can never seem to find it or prioritize it. I’m constantly working, or in school, or doing homework, or at practice, or cramming in a meal. I try to find the time to do the things I enjoy, see friends, or just sit at home. In all honesty, I feel like school gets in the way a lot of the time and I’m overworked and exhausted. I’m not a robot. I can’t sit at a computer 5 days a week, do the hours of homework, work and practice. And then on a weeknd, when I should be taking the time to be bored, I’m still doing homework and studying for tests. I can’t take the time if there is none.
Chapter 19
Have you been taught to believe high stress is a positive thing?
As I sit here, literally crying about how stressed I am… yes. It’s always been a competition to see who has the most on their plate, who got the least amount of sleep, or who is more stressed. I’m so tired of constantly feeling like I HAVE to be doing something or I’m wasting my life away because I’m not constantly working or stressing myself out. America has such a toxic way of living life. Everything goes so fast and if you're not stressed, you’re not being productive. It’s exhausting and draining and I’m sick of this lifestyle.
As I sit here, literally crying about how stressed I am… yes. It’s always been a competition to see who has the most on their plate, who got the least amount of sleep, or who is more stressed. I’m so tired of constantly feeling like I HAVE to be doing something or I’m wasting my life away because I’m not constantly working or stressing myself out. America has such a toxic way of living life. Everything goes so fast and if you're not stressed, you’re not being productive. It’s exhausting and draining and I’m sick of this lifestyle.
Chapter 20 |
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When was the last time you sat down and wrote a letter to someone with gratitude?
The last time I wrote a letter to someone was probably last year. I don’t remember if I’m being honest, but I believe it was to either Ana or Nico. I used to write letters to people A LOT as an underclassmen but stopped because Ana was the only one that appreciated them or wrote back. However, this year I received a letter FIRST for the first time. I also made a promise to my grandma that I would write her letters from Tennessee. I feel like it’s a much more intimate way of communicating.
The last time I wrote a letter to someone was probably last year. I don’t remember if I’m being honest, but I believe it was to either Ana or Nico. I used to write letters to people A LOT as an underclassmen but stopped because Ana was the only one that appreciated them or wrote back. However, this year I received a letter FIRST for the first time. I also made a promise to my grandma that I would write her letters from Tennessee. I feel like it’s a much more intimate way of communicating.